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40 pounds at a time

9/9/2019

6 Comments

 
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Occasionally we are lucky enough to cross paths with someone who will leave a lasting mark in our minds, our hearts, and our souls. And perhaps, we are even lucky enough to be that person to someone else.
​What follows is the story of how 10 minutes and $12 changed my life.

...Emergency Ice is becoming a regular stop for me. And frankly, it's a welcome break from my hectic day. The front desk lady is always super nice (although she's often crazy busy). The guys in the back are extra helpful, and I'm even to the point where I can just walk into the back with my coolers and chat with the staff while I wait for my order.
It's not uncommon to see people waiting by the front desk with coolers, some in uniform, some not. The occasional small child or two while mom picks up ice for a party. 
I was surprised when there was only one man with one large cooler standing in the usually cramped waiting area. He had a very large, very clean cooler, with some kind of label on it which I couldn't read. He looked like he really knew what he was doing and I was in a bit of a hurry so I quickly explained what I needed to the front desk lady and she told me to just go on back.
One crew member was packing up a particularly large bag of dry ice pellets. I'd never seen one so large! Humorously he jokes to my guy "There you go man, I did that one for free!" and exits the building. The bag sits on the scale.
Now, my guy and I are hemming and hawing over quantities and what will fit into what cooler. Eventually, I fill my regular ice coolers while he works on the dry ice and as I run those coolers to the car, I see that same guy just standing in the waiting area. Perhaps this was his first time. I encourage him to just come on back as I'm quite sure the bag sitting on the scale is his for the taking. He's quick to accept my apology for "cutting" as I joke that I "simply can't afford any bad karma." 
He asks what I'm doing with the ice, and in response to his curiosity, or perhaps his disdain for awkward silence, I explain that I'm using dry ice to make cocktails more interesting. And I return the question. Without a pause, he says his wife has cancer and is having her first chemo treatment tomorrow. There is a company that makes headwraps, that when filled with very cold ice have been shown to prevent hair loss. Despite this very personal information he's told me he is quick to say they are hopeful and if he can do anything to help his wife he will!
My heart sinks. What do you say? Can you say anything? It is impossible to understand what he's feeling. He maintains this cool exterior. This positive vibe. This air of calmness in a most certain time of pain. I'm sure he's cried over this. But to me, he wishes me luck on my event and smiles as we part ways.
My stomach is in my throat. I get back to the front desk lady and remark that we are so, so lucky. I tell her his story. She says she has heard about these wraps as many people have come in before. I remark again. We are so, so lucky. I just shake my head. As I type this now, I am shaking my head. 
I am kicking myself because after I left, I think "I should have paid for the next chemo purchase." I don't think the money matters - in fact, chemo purchases get a huge discount to 30 cents per pound, and they require about 40 pounds. That's $12. Think about how the next person to walk in will feel knowing some person they don't know is in this with them. One other person is in their corner. Helping them fight the fight. 
I don't ask for much. In fact, I rarely ask for anything. But today I am asking for $12. I know you have $12. Sure, the next time I go in, I can give $12. No problem. But what if I could give $120? $240? My friends, I know you have $12. Skip an appetizer the next time you're out. Pass on Starbucks 2 days in a row. Give a bit of that fat tip you earned last night. I know you have $12.

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This hand-written note will take the place of an invoice for those seeking dry ice for head wraps, also known as cold caps, to prevent hair loss during chemo.
I'd tagged 100 people, the maximum number of people Facebook will allow. I received responses from people all over the world! Who could have ever, every thought that over 100 people would have their ice paid-forward (at $24 per treatment - $12 for pebble ice & $12 for slab ice). 
SETTING UP THE ACCOUNT: I spoke to the co-owner, Donnell Toler with the request to start a fund with this money. And she asked me if I'd rather donate to a charity. I explained I specifically wanted the funds to be used here. She quizzically probed "Do you have cancer? Do you know someone with cancer?" to which I just shook my head no. And though the staff had told her bits of information here and there it was clear she needed to hear the whole story. And as I recited that story one more time both our eyes filled with tears. Then she revealed to me that she and her husband, Earl, lost a son to cancer years ago which is why they offer the ice at a discount. We are so, so lucky.
Read the complete narrative and responses here.
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6 Comments
SHARON M RUSH
9/19/2019 14:08:19

I work for Chemo Cold Caps. I am at Emergency Ice at least twice a week to 80 lbs. of dry ice my patients. This put a smile on my face. Thank you so much

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Sharon M Rush link
9/19/2019 14:11:46

Thank you for doing this!
Blessings!
Sharon Rush

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Betty Cocktail
9/19/2019 19:07:46

Thank you for sharing Sharon!

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Vickie Ross link
9/19/2019 22:09:05

Thank you for your thoughtful donation!! I was your first recipient. I was at Emergency Ice last night to pick up my dry ice for my first treatment today. I can not express my appreciation. It was truly a blessing to have this cost covered. With all of the expenses related to the ongoing processes to fight this disease, every cost that is not out of pocket makes a huge impact. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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Sharon link
9/25/2019 16:46:34

God Bless You Vickie! I am fighting beside you....We have this!

Sharon Sorrell link
9/25/2019 16:35:48

So, my sweet husband goes to the dry ice store today to pick up ice for my second treatment tomorrow and comes home with red eyes and tears rolling down his face. He hands me a note and says read the blog and it will tell you everything.

I start to read the blog and I ask...."Brandon, is this you?!", shocked and confused. "Yes, I met her before your first treatment" he says.

I then finished reading your beautiful blog with the same red eyes and tears. Your words were so kind and moved us both.

We feel so blessed that our story in any way shape or form has helped another family or person in need. I cannot express to you how much we have been amazed by the generosity, love and caring nature of people that we have never met. Glory to God for your spirit. Thank you for sharing it with us and for helping us smile (and cry tears of joy) on what is a stressful and anxiety filled day for us. I am so grateful others will get the same relief when they go to grab their ice.

Love - Sharon

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    A Betty (by a broad definition) is honest and brave, loyal and nurturing, witty and fun. She's balanced, quirky, open-minded, complex, and flawed. She's soulful and driven. And I think there's a little Betty in all of us. 
    Someone once said "Who the hell is Chris Henley!?" Well, that's me. I'm Chris Henley. Therapist. Concoctionist. Humanitarian. Perpetual Optimist. Dog Lover. Cocktail Enthusiast. I'm a bit of a Jane-of-All-Trades with an affinity for creativity in the kitchen and a fascination with understanding people. I once made a girl a drink "that tastes like tennis" and my favorite bartenders have never met a stranger. I'm awed by people who can do things I can't and I know more dogs in my neighborhood than I do humans. Speaking of my neighborhood, if you catch me on my stoop I will invite you in for fresh baked goods or a dangerous cocktail.

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